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Tamilian Wedding

THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY OF THE TAMILS


Pre Wedding

Tamil WeddingReceiving the Groom
When the groom and his family arrive at the wedding hall on the morning one day before the wedding, they are welcomed with a tray containing offerings of flowers, paan supari, fruits and mishri. Rose water is sprinkled on the groom. The bride's brother applies a tilak of sandalwood paste and kumkum on his forehead and garlands him. The bride's mother offers the groom's parents a sweet dish prepared from condensed milk. A senior female member of the bride's family performs aarti and welcomes them. It is also customary to break a coconut on the ground as this is believed to help ward off evil spirits.



Pallikai Thellichal
The family of the bride begins this ceremony a day before the wedding. Clay pots are filled with grains. Married women from both sides sprinkle water on the pots filled with nine varieties of grain. During this ceremony, the others present sing traditional songs to the accompaniment of music. The next day (the day after the wedding) when the grains sprout, these pots are immersed in a pond so that the fish in the pond may feed on the grains and bless the newly-weds abundantly.

Nicchiyadharatham
The bride's parents perform Ganesh Pooja in the presence of the officiating priest. The bride is also present during the ceremony. The groom's side gives the bride a new sari. She wears it with the assistance of her sister-in-law. A tilak of chandan and kumkum is applied on her forehead, while the pallav of her sari is filled with fruits, paan-supari, turmeric, kumkum and coconut. A garland of flowers is tied around her waist. Aarati is also performed for her.

Wedding

Exchange of Garlands
The bride and the groom exchange garlands thrice. The bride and the groom's uncles (mother's brother) have to hoist them. Then, they are made to sit together on a swing. Married women from the families give spoonful of milk and banana pieces.

Kanyadaanam
The bride's father welcomes the groom when he comes to the mandapam. The bride's mother applies kajal in the groom's eyes. The bride's father washes his son-in-law's feet. Through this gesture the father conveys that that the boy is an incarnation of Lord Vishnu and believes that he will support and take good care of his daughter. The bride sits on her father's lap with a coconut in her hands. The father and bride offer the coconut to the groom while the bride's mother pours water over the coconut thus symbolizing the 'giving away of their daughter.' The groom's parents gift the bride a nine-yard sari and a blouse to be worn for next moment, the auspicious occasion of tying the mangasultra

Muhurtam
With the help of her sister-in-law and other aunts the bride changes into a nine-yard sari and again enters the mandapam. A sack of paddy is placed on the floor. The bride's father is seated on this and the bride sits on her father's lap. The yoke of a farmer's plough is touched to the bride's forehead. The priest and relatives bless the mangalsutra or sacred thread and hand it to the groom who ties it around the neck of his bride with two knots. The groom's sister ties the third knot much to the rejoicing of everyone accompanied by the drums of the melam. The three knots symbolize the marriage of the mind, spirit and body.

Saptapadi
The groom takes the bride's right hand in his left hand and leads her around the sacred fire seven times. The bride begins each round by touching her feet to a grinding stone. This signifies her hope that their union may be as firm and steadfast as the grinding stone.

Post-Wedding

Sammandhi Mariyathai
The families of the newly-weds exchange clothes and other gifts befitting their status during this ceremony.

Laaja Homam
The groom accepts popped rice from the bride's brother and offers it to the sacred fire.

Grihapravesham
The wedding rituals over, the bride is escorted to the groom's house. If he lives far from the venue, she is taken to the home of his nearest relative. She is welcomed into her new home with an aarati.